Finding Your Flock
Have you ever felt like an alien…like maybe your spaceship dropped you off on this planet and then forgot to come back to get you? Now you’re stuck here with people who don’t seem to understand you or who think very differently from you. I’m guessing most of us have felt that way at least once or twice.
Facilitating Family Constellations for the past 13 years has taught me that human beings carry a deep need to belong. We long for a place where we don’t have to pretend to be something we are not. That’s why it’s so important to find your flock…a group of people with whom you can totally be yourself without fear of being judged.
One of the places I’ve found my own flock is in my weekly A Course in Miracles study group. It is a blessing to have a safe space to explore and discuss the unconventional and unconditional loving concepts found in the Course. Every week, I express my gratitude for the people who show up on Zoom to share love, light, and miracles. Although A Course in Miracles is a self-study course, I find it very helpful to hear different perspectives and gain insights from others.
If you’ve been reading my weekly stories for a while, you know how much I cherish the square dancing club that I joined almost 2 years ago. This group is all about having fun, helping each other, and being silly. Those are some of my favorite qualities, so I feel 100% safe to be me with this joyful flock.
I realize that A Course in Miracles or square dancing may not be your thing. But something is…and there are others who love it too.
Years ago, one of my friends began a Meetup group in Fort Lauderdale to get together with other vegans to share food and recipe ideas. Another friend gets together at a different location every year with four of his college buddies. Their lives have changed a lot, but they still enjoy being together to support one another and laugh about old times. Another dear friend plans an annual gathering with friends she has known since kindergarten! I have had the pleasure of hanging out with these “Iowa Girls” on two occasions, and let me tell you, they know how to have fun!
Those friendships look different for everyone, but the feeling they create is the same. When you finally find your flock, something remarkable happens. In addition to fun, laughter, and support, it’s an opportunity to let down your guard and just be you. Whether you are aware of it or not, it requires a great deal of energy to keep your shields up and constantly monitor yourself to fit in.
Your flock can also offer empathy and guidance. That’s why twelve-step recovery groups are so powerful. Who better to help you find your way than someone who has walked the path before you? I know this firsthand. When I lived in Orlando after college, I attended a weekly Al-Anon group that was tremendously helpful in understanding the effects of growing up in an alcoholic household.
For some people that safe space is spending time with family, whether that’s biological family or family of choice. For others, it’s a sports team or going out with people from work. Whatever form this takes for you, I hope you’ve found your flock so you can flap your wings together, be yourself, and feel connected.
If not, Meetup.com is a great place to find others in your area who share common interests. And if you’re curious about A Course in Miracles, consider joining our loving flock on Tuesdays for our weekly online study group. Just visit the Miracles page on my website for information on how to join.
Until next time, if you are feeling like that lost alien, may you be guided to find your flock so you know without a doubt that you belong!
Alone we are all lowly, but together we shine with brightness so intense that none of us alone can even think of it.
A Course in Miracles ~ T-13.X.14